Mental Health
Amy Fowler
Multitasking: Superpower or Kryptonite?

I considered it a wake-up call when I came across the New York Times article by Oliver Burkeman, “Stop Multitasking. No, Really-Just Stop It.” Somewhere during my years of raising my three children, I came to believe that my days would be richer and more streamlined if I could conquer numerous tasks at once, all the while wondering why I felt scattered and depleted. Burkeman describes it as being “afflicted by the ambient anxiety that seems to be an intrinsic part of life in the 2020s.” He prescribes a novel antidote for restoring one’s sanity: be present and focus on one activity at a time.

Multitasking: Superpower or Kryptonite?
Relationships, Family
Tyler Rogers
Surviving the Holidays with Family

The holiday season has quickly descended upon us and for many, it can be a time of tremendous anxiety over people pleasing, getting the perfect gifts, and trying to make everyone’s family happy with your choices of how you spend your few precious days off work. For others, it may mean navigating an extended break from school with your family and introducing that special someone to the family for the first time. No matter how chaotic, stressful, or conflicting your holiday time may be, here are a few simple things to think about and reflect upon before excessive turkey and shopping consume every ounce of free brain capacity.

Surviving the Holidays with Family
Relationships
Tyler Rogers
Be Curious, Not Judgmental

Ted Lasso believes it. Walt Whitman said it. But do you do it?

If you were to ask me What’s the one piece of advice you have for a successful relationship?, my answer would be this: Be curious, not judgmental. Easier said than done, right? This is an issue that plagues many of the relationships that I help on a day in and day out basis. So why does this simple issue plague so many relationships?

Be Curious, Not Judgmental
Relationships
Tyler Rogers
Recognizing Your Spouse's Dysregulation

Lips tightening. Arms crossed. Tone harshening. Heart rate increasing. Palms sweating. Breath shortening.

These are a few things I see in my office daily, not part of an Eminem song. Well, mostly. They may also be things you experience in your marriage, whether it be something you do or something you are the recipient of. Becoming dysregulated in a conversation or conflict can be a common pattern, particularly in relationships that feel strained or tense often. Dysregulation can be described as entering into a state of hyperarousal (fight or flight) or hypoarousal (freeze). These states are something every person is capable of doing, and we hope so because they are adaptive for our survival and ability to navigate certain challenges in life.

Recognizing Your Spouse's Dysregulation
Relationships
Tyler Rogers
Task Balancing in the Home

Many families today face a growing, quiet threat outlined in Eve Rodsky’s book Fair Play – a long list of responsibilities that overwhelm and stress the typical family. Partners must handle the obvious tasks such as paying bills, cooking, home maintenance, doctor’s appointments and cleaning, as well as the less noticeable items requiring energy like social planning for the family, choosing, signing up and attending kids activities, arranging rides or play dates, and building the annual Valentine’s box. This constitutes what some call “invisible labor” in the home, labor that is required or expected, but not compensated. If this labor is not acknowledged or shared, a sense of imbalance can develop that often spills over into greater forms of conflict. The issue is pervasive and usually starts to enter a relationship upon the introduction of a first child.

Task Balancing in the Home

Marital Conflict

Signs of Marital Trouble: The Four Horsemen

Signs of Marital Trouble: The Four Horsemen

Marital conflict happens in every relationship, but conflict alone is not necessarily a sign of trouble. So how can you know if your marriage really is in trouble and not just experiencing common marital conflict? Well, Dr. John Gottman has studied couples and their communication patterns extensively, to the point of being able to predict with 90% accuracy who would stay together and who would get divorced. His findings produced what he labeled the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, with the Apocalypse being the end of your relationship

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