Multitasking: Superpower or Kryptonite?

Multitasking: Superpower or Kryptonite?

I considered it a wake-up call when I came across the New York Times article by Oliver Burkeman, “Stop Multitasking. No, Really-Just Stop It.” Somewhere during my years of raising my three children, I came to believe that my days would be richer and more streamlined if I could conquer numerous tasks at once, all the while wondering why I felt scattered and depleted. Burkeman describes it as being “afflicted by the ambient anxiety that seems to be an intrinsic part of life in the 2020s.” He prescribes a novel antidote for restoring one’s sanity: be present and focus on one activity at a time.

Surviving the Holidays with Family

Surviving the Holidays with Family

The holiday season has quickly descended upon us and for many, it can be a time of tremendous anxiety over people pleasing, getting the perfect gifts, and trying to make everyone’s family happy with your choices of how you spend your few precious days off work. For others, it may mean navigating an extended break from school with your family and introducing that special someone to the family for the first time. No matter how chaotic, stressful, or conflicting your holiday time may be, here are a few simple things to think about and reflect upon before excessive turkey and shopping consume every ounce of free brain capacity.

Be Curious, Not Judgmental

Be Curious, Not Judgmental

Ted Lasso believes it. Walt Whitman said it. But do you do it?

If you were to ask me What’s the one piece of advice you have for a successful relationship?, my answer would be this: Be curious, not judgmental. Easier said than done, right? This is an issue that plagues many of the relationships that I help on a day in and day out basis. So why does this simple issue plague so many relationships?

Recognizing Your Spouse's Dysregulation

Recognizing Your Spouse's Dysregulation

Lips tightening. Arms crossed. Tone harshening. Heart rate increasing. Palms sweating. Breath shortening.

These are a few things I see in my office daily, not part of an Eminem song. Well, mostly. They may also be things you experience in your marriage, whether it be something you do or something you are the recipient of. Becoming dysregulated in a conversation or conflict can be a common pattern, particularly in relationships that feel strained or tense often. Dysregulation can be described as entering into a state of hyperarousal (fight or flight) or hypoarousal (freeze). These states are something every person is capable of doing, and we hope so because they are adaptive for our survival and ability to navigate certain challenges in life.

Task Balancing in the Home

Task Balancing in the Home

Many families today face a growing, quiet threat outlined in Eve Rodsky’s book Fair Play – a long list of responsibilities that overwhelm and stress the typical family. Partners must handle the obvious tasks such as paying bills, cooking, home maintenance, doctor’s appointments and cleaning, as well as the less noticeable items requiring energy like social planning for the family, choosing, signing up and attending kids activities, arranging rides or play dates, and building the annual Valentine’s box. This constitutes what some call “invisible labor” in the home, labor that is required or expected, but not compensated. If this labor is not acknowledged or shared, a sense of imbalance can develop that often spills over into greater forms of conflict. The issue is pervasive and usually starts to enter a relationship upon the introduction of a first child.

Now Accepting Residency Applications

Now Accepting Residency Applications

The Residency Program at Scout provides residents opportunity to refine and grow their clinical skills in the post graduation, pre licensed stage of their career while being a part of a team. If you are a pre licensed mental health professional seeking licensure (LMFT or LPC), and willing to pursue licensure in TN, we would love to consider you!

My Experience with Residency

My Experience with Residency

I have met very few in the mental health field that don’t dream of the cozy office, coffee mug in hand, one on one with clients, pursuing your licensure and to make a good living doing it. But the reality of achieving that dream straight out of school is really difficult to do and can take a long time to accomplish. I feel lucky to have found Scout Counseling at the end of my graduate school experience. Along with providing great care to our clients, Scout’s second mission is the training of excellent counselors and creating a program to provide all the resources needed develop a private practice business and achieve licensure within the minimum timeframe after a master’s program.

What Sets Scout Apart

What Sets Scout Apart

Finding a counselor that can help navigate life’s challenges can be an overwhelming process. There are many disciplines and practices committed to the helping profession, and as a client, it may be hard to know the differences in each and how to find a good fit. Scout has sought to define elements of our practice that make us who we are and we share them here in the hope that it can make it easier to know if we are the place to come for healing, growth and change in your life.

Training the trainer: Are you equipped to provide premarital counseling?

Training the trainer: Are you equipped to provide premarital counseling?

The date is set. Plans are being made. Excitement is filling the air, except it is not your enthusiasm, but the wide-eyed, hand holding, “lovey dovey” couple sitting before you in your office. They cannot wait to get married, and you, perhaps, maybe cannot wait to get them married. Whatever role you have, and in many cases, I suppose a pastoral one, you are attempting to garner the attention of these two lovebirds over the pushy mothers and mother-in-laws, the wedding planner, and a number of other things pulling on these two. Perhaps you hope to give them one or two magical “nuggets” that will set them on a course for success, but you feel that your efforts may even fall short, as it can be difficult to articulate what has worked for you if you are married yourself and have experienced some marital success, but that may not even be true. So my question is- are you desiring to be better able to effectively deliver premarital counseling to the number of couples you engage with annually who are seeking to make the walk down the aisle to marital bliss?

Surviving the Holidays with Family

Surviving the Holidays with Family

The holiday season has quickly descended upon us and for many, it can be a time of tremendous anxiety over people pleasing, getting the perfect gifts, and trying to make everyone’s family happy with your choices of how you spend your few precious days off work. For others, it may mean navigating an extended break from school with your family and introducing that special someone to the family for the first time. No matter how chaotic, stressful, or conflicting your holiday time may be, here are a few simple things to think about and reflect upon before excessive turkey and shopping consume every ounce of free brain capacity.

Finding a New Way...Again

Finding a New Way...Again

In 2017, I moved to Chattanooga with just the name “Scout Counseling, PLLC” on a piece of paper. At that time, I post this about my move, and about the changes in my practice at that time. The Scout I built in Memphis was no more, and the move to the Scenic City had me dreaming of what this practice could be in this new phase of life. I began to think about the place and the people that would embody the type of practice I would be proud to be a part of and own. I knew that things would most likely change from being a solo practice, but I was not sure what that would be. After three years after dreaming and thinking, scouring real estate listings, and imagining what it would be like to have others in practice with me, I am excited to announce some major changes at Scout.

Staying Mentally Well: Be Purposeful

Staying Mentally Well: Be Purposeful

It is probably just as important during this time to take note of how to stay well emotionally as much as physically. Yes, hand-washing, social isolation and now mask wearing are important, but the conversation that is crucial to staying mentally, emotionally and spiritually well. These are issues that many are vulnerable to beyond the immuno-compromised, so it is time we do some gut checking on our emotional competency. Truth be told, these are probably things we all need to be doing anyway - there is nothing like a little “encouragement” in the form of a pandemic!

Today, after talking about being sad , being angry, being afraid, examining our limits, and being intentional, we will close out this little series talking about being purposeful with the time we do have now.

Be Purposeful

We are relational beings, and so it is difficult to imagine going weeks without much relational connection. The current pandemic is going to require many of us to feel our weakness - yikes! Again, something we do not like to do! After taking stock in everything, it’s a great time to reach out in purposeful ways, being purposeful with our time and with our words.

Staying Mentally Well: Be Intentional

Staying Mentally Well: Be Intentional

It is probably just as important during this time to take note of how to stay well emotionally as much as physically. Yes, hand-washing, social isolation and now mask wearing are important, but the conversation that is crucial to staying mentally, emotionally and spiritually well. These are issues that many are vulnerable to beyond the immuno-compromised, so it is time we do some gut checking on our emotional competency. Truth be told, these are probably things we all need to be doing anyway - there is nothing like a little “encouragement” in the form of a pandemic!

Today, after talking about being sad , being angry, and being afraid, as well as examining our limits, it’s a great time to turn to being intentional with our current life.

Be Intentional

Now that you and your family are likely home and if your workplace is closed or asking you to work from home, it is a great time to evaluate all things in your life not only that you are grieving, but also what you are not grieving. You read that correctly. Take a moment to see what you are not missing.

Staying Mentally Well: Be Limited

Staying Mentally Well: Be Limited

It is probably just as important during this time to take note of how to stay well emotionally as much as physically. Yes, hand-washing, social isolation and now mask wearing are important, but the conversation that is crucial to staying mentally, emotionally and spiritually well. These are issues that many are vulnerable to beyond the immuno-compromised, so it is time we do some gut checking on our emotional competency. Truth be told, these are probably things we all need to be doing anyway - there is nothing like a little “encouragement” in the form of a pandemic!

Today, after talking about being sad and being angry, as well as being afraid we must come to term now with our limitations.

Be Limited

Limitations. In a word, shame, another hard feeling, one we are all afraid of encountering. Yes, we are limited, and if anything, this pandemic is making it utterly apparent that you and I really do not control much of anything in our lives.

We are all used to feeling like the captains of our own ships. And in the midst of this, we are trying to be “normal” and have answers. Yet in reality, we just do not know and it is tough to not know.

Staying Mentally Well: Be Afraid

Staying Mentally Well: Be Afraid

It is probably just as important during this time to take note of how to stay well emotionally as much as physically. Yes, hand-washing, social isolation and now mask wearing are important, but the conversation that is crucial to staying mentally, emotionally and spiritually well. These are issues that many are vulnerable to beyond the immunocompromised, so it is time we do some gut checking on our emotional competency. Truth be told, these are probably things we all need to be doing anyway - there is nothing like a little “encouragement” in the form of a pandemic!

Today, after talking about being sad and being angry, we must all admit that we are a little afraid….

Be Afraid

Along with making us angry, that thing that is threatening us, that thing we cannot see, it is scaring us too. It is what makes us panic shop, digest hours of news looking for some hope, or search for some dove with an olive branch that tells us this is going to come to an end, that the waters are essentially receding.

Staying Mentally Well: Be Angry

Staying Mentally Well: Be Angry

It is probably just as important during this time to take note of how to stay well emotionally as much as physically. Yes, hand-washing, social isolation and now mask wearing are important, but the conversation that is crucial to staying mentally, emotionally and spiritually well. These are issues that many are vulnerable to beyond the immunocompromised, so it is time we do some gut checking on our emotional competency. Truth be told, these are probably things we all need to be doing anyway - there is nothing like a little “encouragement” in the form of a pandemic!

Today, after talking about being sad yesterday, I think it’s time we tackle another feeling we need to acknowledge….

Be Angry

Yes. That is right. It is okay to be angry. Anger is passion. Anger is showing you that you care about your family, your job, your friends, your employees, your co-workers or your causes. We tend to now spend hours anger tweeting this or that or aligning ourselves on one political side or the other, all because we are angry and want change.

Staying Mentally Well: Be Sad

Staying Mentally Well: Be Sad

It is probably just as important during this time to take note of how to stay well emotionally as much as physically. Yes, hand-washing, social isolation and now mask wearing are important, but the conversation that is crucial to staying mentally, emotionally and spiritually well. These are issues that many are vulnerable to beyond the immunocompromised, so it is time we do some gut checking on our emotional competency. Truth be told, these are probably things we all need to be doing anyway - there is nothing like a little “encouragement” in the form of a pandemic!

So today, let’s tackle this feeling to kick things off…

Be Sad

This is the strongest emotion we’ve noticed in ourselves, and yet, most of us have a hard time naming it. It escapes us as we endlessly scroll and search to see if this event or that thing is going to be cancelled. It’s hard to face being sad and feeling pain. We are all sad. We are grieving. We continue to shed bits and pieces of normalcy here and there and hang on to others, bargaining all in an effort to not be too sad and maintain a little bit of hope. But there is so much grief to be had.

Staying Mentally Well: 6 ways to "Be" during the COVID-19 Pandemic

Staying Mentally Well: 6 ways to "Be" during the COVID-19 Pandemic

It is probably just as important during this time to take note of how to stay well emotionally as much as physically. Yes, hand-washing, social isolation and now mask wearing are important, but the conversation that is crucial to staying mentally, emotionally and spiritually well. These are issues that many are vulnerable to beyond the immunocompromised, so it is time we do some gut checking on our emotional competency. Truth be told, these are probably things we all need to be doing anyway - there is nothing like a little “encouragement” in the form of a pandemic!

Over the next several days, we’ll post 1 way “to be” during the current state of things. We will kick things off later this week, so check back in…

Training the trainer: Are you equipped to provide premarital counseling?

Training the trainer: Are you equipped to provide premarital counseling?

The date is set. Plans are being made. Excitement is filling the air, except it is not your enthusiasm, but the wide-eyed, hand holding, “lovey dovey” couple sitting before you in your office. They cannot wait to get married, and you, perhaps, maybe cannot wait to get them married. Whatever role you have, and in many cases, I suppose a pastoral one, you are attempting to garner the attention of these two lovebirds over the pushy mothers and mother-in-laws, the wedding planner, and a number of other things pulling on these two. Perhaps you hope to give them one or two magical “nuggets” that will set them on a course for success, but you feel that your efforts may even fall short, as it can be difficult to articulate what has worked for you if you are married yourself and have experienced some marital success, but that may not even be true. So my question is- are you desiring to be better able to effectively deliver premarital counseling to the number of couples you engage with annually who are seeking to make the walk down the aisle to marital bliss?