You know that thing you’ve been noticing in yourself? It happens when you check your email and get a barrage from all the companies and organizations, most that have no real bearing on your life, on how they are handling COVID-19. You turn to the news, social media, or whatever format you choose to digest information these days. You find yourself searching for answers...
What is happening? When will this be over? Am I safe? What’s the cause? What’s the next thing that’s going to be cancelled? What can I do?
And the daily sinking does not go away, and that’s likely for this reason: emotions.
Some of us deny having them ourselves, some of us spend hours criticizing others for “not having them,” and still others of us say “we can’t let them rule us”. However we chose to view emotions before now, we may have thought we were doing a good job managing and getting by or over or through daily life.
But if this pandemic is showing us anything, at least in America, it is that we are not the most emotionally savvy country.
It is probably just as important during this time to take note of how to stay well emotionally as much as physically. Yes, hand-washing, social isolation and now mask wearing are important, but the conversation that is crucial to staying mentally, emotionally and spiritually well. These are issues that many are vulnerable to beyond the immuno-compromised, so it is time we do some gut checking on our emotional competency. Truth be told, these are probably things we all need to be doing anyway - there is nothing like a little “encouragement” in the form of a pandemic!
Today, after talking about being sad and being angry, as well as being afraid we must come to term now with our limitations.
Be Limited
Limitations. In a word, shame, another hard feeling, one we are all afraid of encountering. Yes, we are limited, and if anything, this pandemic is making it utterly apparent that you and I really do not control much of anything in our lives.
We are all used to feeling like the captains of our own ships. And in the midst of this, we are trying to be “normal” and have answers. Yet in reality, we just do not know and it is tough to not know.
Good news: it is okay to embrace your limits and in return, set your own. Instead of trying to ingest so much information to make yourself feel in control or prepared to respond at a moment’s notice, better to acknowledge that you can not know it all or stop some things from happening. In a sense, we can look to those that face wildfires when the season threatens their homes - setting their own yard on fire, also known as the “backburn” method.
“Backburn” is the idea of getting rid of the combustible materials around your home in a controlled manner before the major fire comes and this will keep a wildfire from being able to consume your home. The logic of the “backburn” can apply in this pandemic too.
I have found it extremely helpful to my mind and spirit to have my own “backburn” of sorts by having one news check a day for about 10 minutes as well as 10 minute conversation with my spouse about the state of things. Outside of that, I am working to stop feeding the fear beast. This is clearing the worry that can catch fire and become anxiety. And it is admitting my limits and creating my boundaries with COVID-19, all while feeling my own shame, that I am a mere person, unable to control all things.
Clear the yard, admit to your limits and then set some of your own. Ask yourself today what you can control and what you cannot, and surrender to what you cannot, and act on what you can.
